How I learned to stop grizzling and love the N95

I got an N95 about a year ago. My first impression was that it was a sloppy fistful of suck swinging towards my exposed, leering cranium. I used it for a while, it broke, and I forgot about it, returning to my trusty "E61", which is like a phone only larger - it provides adequate protection in the event of a nuclear blast to protect at least one medium sized archaeology professor.

The e61 - kinda monolish*



The N95 has abysmal battery life (2 days MAX! Seriously!), and a crummy interface, and is one of those fragile slidy units that you feel would disintegrate under the force of a "parp" of a nearby clownhorn. As I didn't have "data minutes" or whatever the heck that is, its internet features and GPS (which, let's be honest, are its main selling points) were of no use for me as they would cost me more than a puddle of vintage princeblood to use.

Eventually, the trusty E61 began to crap out, randomly calling my girlfriend in the middle of the night and breathing husky at her. I berated it, but its steadfast grimace let me know it had crossed over to being a Bad Piece Of Consumer Electronics.

So, a phone call to 3 customer services, where a nice Indian gentleman informed me that I could take my phone to Dumbells Road, which for a cyclist like myself is a pretty serious journey and not one I fancy undertaking in icy winter roads with the dazzling death seals braying their iron honks as they drive at breakneck speed towards my environmentally sound but fragile conveyance, swerving and presumably barking in their fat gleeful joy.

So, I left it.

Increasingly, the E61 began to crumble. One People's Elbow later, it was toast, and I reluctantly came to realise that I needed my '95 back on the road. I'd sworn I'd never go back to it, that I was out, but like Carlito, I got pulled back in. Having invested in a £5-a-month all-you-can-Internet contract extension, I figured I could give it a second go.

The nice people at the 3 store got it sent off and replaced within 2 days. This is exceptional customer service, far better than getting fobbed off by an Indian call center!

And now? Now I love it. It gives me Google Mail, Google Maps, web browsing and the like. The interface is still hecks of crappy - it's fiddly and gives me thumbache that has rendered it impossible for me to ever hitchhike again. After using an iphone, it's like trying to refine oil with your teeth. I think the days of numeric keys + joypad + a couple of special keys may be numbered - more flexible interface mechanics are available now.

I still think the fact that the camera takes up to 7 or 8 seconds to warm up and take a picture is hella lax, and the battery life blows, but hey, it's going to get me to my mate's house tonight thanks to the wonderful Google maps app so I'm happy :)


* I just invented the world "monolish". It means kind of like a monolith. Anna will squeal when she hears that one!